Giving into motherhood…let yourself go with it…

Yesterday  I went to my nieces 2nd birthday and had a lovely time catching up with friends and family. It was really nice to have a beautiful day out in the sun, lots of food and great company. It brings into light again how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by so many wonderful people.

As I spoke to a few friends who have children, discussing all the development of our kids there seemed to be one apparent theme. One in which I certainly struggled with in my early days of motherhood and from time to time still do. When I first entered motherhood, it was an adjustment as to be expected but I guess I thought that hey after a few months Otis will be settled and I would pick my life up where it left off. Yeah right I had no idea! lol I mean in the media it is shoved in our face that so and so got there body back in 6 weeks, celebrities are back at work, premieres, functions, gym in no time and we are lead to believe that we will do the same. Oh and if we don’t we are failing. Also other mothers tell us there amazing stories of starting businesses, being the most creative they ever had been, travelling ect ect ect and somehow we think that this experience  will be the same for us too. I am by no mean saying that this isn’t some women’s experience I am just simply saying it’s ok if its not and this is normal too!

The thing of it is though we all take to motherhood differently and you are so not prepared on how it is going to drive you. Myself, i have thoroughly enjoyed the experience thus far but have most certainly had moments of despair, or identity crisis or even just missing my freedom. ( am talking the freedom to sit on the loo and take the time to do my business.) Even now that Otis is 14 months old I still find my self so tired, hitting weeks where i feel like i have no idea what i am doing, still ambitiously trying to fit a million things in my day Otis in tow and then he has other ideas! And then i bring it back to, Giving in to motherhood. It makes it so much more enjoyable! For all of us!

It’s tough I find all of my days I am constantly giving outward, whether it be Otis, my partner, my work, strangers for god sake, I am always trying to make people feel good. Sometimes I jus have to stop and take a bit for myself before everything comes to a stand still! Instead of trying to pay the bills, do the shopping, clean the bathrooms, cook dinner and keep Otis entertained all in the first part of my day I have to GIVE INTO IT and spread these things out over a few mornings. It is ok that i can’t do everything at the rate i did before, just gotta go with it. Right?

Even outings I just find that when events are on at certain times and I hate being late for events I just realise I have to go with the flow a bit more, work around Otis and if he is happy, we are all happy! (TRUST ME) If people aren’t happy with it well quiet simply TOUGH!

I recently have just been feeling creative again, that i wanna write music again and not because people tell i shouldn’t give it up cause I am a mother but because i am feeling like i have the energy and the need and want to fulfil that part of myself again. It’s those things that i do miss but I also know they are always there, my time to do these things will come again and no i haven’t lost myself in Otis I have just discovered another layer.

 “Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water in to a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Le

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Sick, tired, giggles, bumps and bruisers…

Ok goodness what a week it has been… I haven’t been updating much as our household has been a sick one and I think the exhaustion has finally gotten the better of me!

Poor little OT has been cutting his 4 top teeth while dealing with being unwell, but i must say despite his whining moods from time to time he has been a star! I guess taking life of a 14 month old in his stride. Chris and I have been sick but we are kind enough to take it in turns so that one of us has just enough energy to keep up with the little munchkin! All in all life just seems so fast and hectic… when? how? did it become like this??

It’s funny that saying be careful what you wish for, I guess every first time mum can’t wait for there littles to start walking, yes I was in this category. Otis has gone from crawling to running in the matter of about 5 mins… Yep the kid is constantly running thinking i am chasing him, giggling, tripping and bumping his head, then repeat (Honestly it’s like living with a drunk, he bumps and crashes into everything!). Is this just a boy thing? Covered in bruisers? this much energy? I feel like my days are consumed with trying to keep him from life or death situations. He is sooo inquisitive, i love it, it’s absolutely enchanting, everything is amazing but lordy it’s FULL ON!  I think the most challenging part is as much as he understands to a degree he doesn’t completely understand, or his memory span is that of 5 secs… or simply he is just playing me. LOL hopefully as he gets a bit older he will be able to entertain himself a little more and be content to sit for a whole 2 mins and enjoy playing with his toys!

LIFE IS PRETTY GRAND THOUGH, really in the scheme of it all i have nothing to complain about, yes I am dreaming of my next holiday, next adventure and what crazy challenge is ahead but i feel excited and optimistic about all that lay in front of me. It really is a the way you look at it.. A little more energy would be great but hey i’m gonna hit the sack now and get straight to work on it!!

Hope you are all shining bright x

“Don’t mistake activity with achievement.” – John Wooden

A gift idea or great little something for the window sill…

hey guys

Thought i would share this little creation i made up this week. I am always stuck for little gifts to take people when i visit. I grew up in a european household where you always take something so this has kinda stuck! Plus i love giving little gifts but sometimes i get stuck for people who have just about everything. Also i though this idea is great for people who are limited on space and wanna add a little colour to the kitchen or window sill…

so here it is my mini herb pots….

 

 

all i did was i found these little water cans at my local bargain shop for about $3 each, i drilled some holes in the bottom for water drainage, put some potting mix and seedlings in and watered well! I think they are sooo cute!  Also you could get some blackboard paint and on the front do a black strip so in chalk you can write what herb it is! Would also work well with little cactuses and succulents, what do you think? I’m pretty stoked with how these turned out and great little gift for someone under $10! Or just a little something to jazz up the kitchen and your food!

seedlings update…

ok so as i promise i would keep you updated on my seedlings to see whether on not they would produce anything! Sure enough it’s been about 2 weeks and today i checked and with delight i found this!

so far my coriander, thyme and dill have started to flower not bad for a first attempt! BUT WILL THEY SURVIVE?? to be continued…..

 

what would you say to your 17 year old self?

As i sit here on my sunday thinking how much my life has changed in the last 10 years. How much i have changed in the last 10 years and where/who I will be in the next 10 years it makes me think of my Dad in fact, because he always used to say to me “if i only knew what I knew now when i was your age I would have conquered the world!” It seems almost unfair that it takes a lifetime to truly get to know yourself, your power, your mind and then your body starts to slow down.

I think of the 17 year old Amanda, highly emotional, fragile, extremely independent, a million dreams floating in her head, wise beyond her years but fresh to new experiences, SO SO SO hard and critical of her self, belief she could change the world that seems set against her, wanting to create love and be loved as her core essence. To be honest all these things are still ever much present in my constitution, although I have learned to be so much kinder to myself and ultimately love myself. I have learnt so much indeed. I have learnt that in order to make my mark in this world i have to be strong. What do you mean be strong you ask? I mean own my thoughts, my choices, my power, still being mindful of those around me, open to their approval and perhaps disapproval, but following my conviction, my heart, my truth.

If I could talk to my 17 year old self I think I would tell her this.

Amanda I know you better then you may think, although you feel like nobody truly understands the depths of you heart and desires, don’t let this sadden you or discourage you. Nobody else needs to understand it but you. You have SO much to offer that you haven’t even tapped into yet, you don’t even realise but learn to trust. Trust YOU amongst this world.

Dont care so much about what people think of you, or think they know about you. Just be free! You will have friends come and go, people who are jealous of you, you will find an inner strength in your self once you have had enough of letting people take advantage of you. It will come with a broken heart as you love friends deeper then they love you at times but this is not a bad thing, it’s in fact something that is beautiful about you. Stay open, it is a sign of strength not weakness.You are from a very strong family and care also so much of what their opinions are of you, but Amanda it’s ok to make mistakes they will still love you. You are only human. A MAJIK one at that.

Everything that has challenged your insecurities, your doubts and intuition will only become of service to you as time passes. You will have the experiences you dream of, the love you think you will never find and a shift in desires that may surprise you. So many wonderful things await you. Everything in which YOU make happen. Something you have not experienced yet is to be challenged by life in a way in which is irreversible. Things happen in life that you can’t go back from. You will learn in time that everything happens as it is meant to. Although you want to save the world and those around you who you love so dearly a hard lesson that you will endure is that everyone is on their own path, making their own choices and ultimately nothing you can do can make them change that unless they truly want to. This is not a reflection on you or how much love you share, it simply is one of life’s lessons. In turn this brings into light again how precious of a gift your spirit and those around you is here.

Be open to many opportunities as you box yourself into what you think you should and shouldnt do and what you are and arent capable of. You have  no idea yet of you limits as you have not been tested but let me tell you if you want adventure you can have it (and WILL). You also realise to your yin theres your yang. you love adventure, partying, socialising and experimenting but you also love your home, your space, your quiet, your sanctuary. This confuses you at times of where you want to be in life but it is ok to be all these things and more. They will all have there moment. The biggest thing is trust that there is a plan for us all.  It’s ok to be lost you will find your way.

Don’t hate your body, be confident, you are perfect the way you are. Although you feel pressure to be skinnier, prettier, fairer,whatever it is that day that makes you dislike what you see in the mirror so much. Discard it. Your body is healthy, it is your vessel to get you through this life. Treat it with love, kindness and respect because if you don’t nobody else will. Be kind to your self. The idea you have of beauty right now will change and you should let your inner beauty shine and it will reflect on the outside.

Amanda the greatest gift of knowledge I can give you is be flexible to the changes that occur in life. Nothing remains the same and every stage but a fleeting moment. Be in the moment, savour it and cherish it for one day it will be just a memory. The only constant thing in your life will be change, it is the only thing you will be able to predict, if you learn to be open to change, accept it and let go of all that doesn’t service you, you will find life a lot easier and excel. It is ok to reminisce but don’t get stuck in longing for the past as you will never move forward. Each day give thanks for all the blessings in your life, tell the ones you love that you love them, embrace them, stop and literally smell the roses there is magic beauty and amazing life around you. Don’t let money be a reason for unhappiness because it is a false sense of happiness. Live happy,find joy in the simplest of things ,it’s ok to have moments of sadness, grief or chaos but these too will pass and you have to let the love in as it is a greater, more powerful emotion that will give you the strength to live happy again.

One last thing, always know and believe that no matter what life throws at you, you will survive and conquer it because you are strong, you have a great foundation, you are surrounded by love and mostly because YOU CHOOSE TOO. It is about the journey not the destination….Greatness lies within you and the best is yet to come.

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.” – C.Joybell B

Please share if there is anything you would tell your 17 year old self what would it be? Age is nothing but a gift in my opinion!

Make your own face/body scrub

Throughout my teenage years and even into adulthood I have struggled with breakouts and bad skin. The only time i think my skin has behaved was through pregnancy! I have tried many things over the years but recently I have started making a few things at home from things that are just in my cupboard.

This is a natural alternative, that has no harsh chemicals and honestly it works brilliantly. Throughout my travels through Asia, India and the South Pacific it seems the people here use coconut oil for just about anything and everything. Even under their harsh living conditions it seems that they have radiant, youthful skin and glossy, shiny hair. All thanks to the beautiful coconut butter. We are a bit late here in the western world but we have clicked on and this stuff is so good for you, has so many functions and you can even eat it.

some benefits of coconut butter are:

• Boosts metabolism & aids with weight loss.
• Improves insulin secretion and utilization of blood glucose.
• Improves heart health & reduces health risks associated with diabetes.
• Supports thyroid function.
• Supports immune system.
• It’s antifungal, antiviral & antibacterial.
• Promotes healing & tissue repair.
• Improves digestion & nutrient absorption.
• Enhances physical performance.
• Hydrates and protects the skin, improves skin tone and prevents wrinkles and skin aging.
• Reduces psoriasis, eczema symptoms.
• Improves hair and scalp condition.
• Functions as a protective antioxidant.
• It’s a quick energy source and controls sugar cravings.
• Relieves stress on pancreas and enzyme systems of the body.
• Reduces symptoms associated with pancreatitis.
• Helps relieve symptoms associated with chronic fatigue syndrome.
• Relieves symptoms associated with benign prostatic hyperplasia (prostate enlargement).
• Helps protect against kidney disease and bladder infections

Here is a quick scrub which you can alter to use as a face scrub or body scrub just by changing your ingredient slightly.

METHOD: Mix coconut oil, raw sugar and a few drops of lavender oil  in a small bowl and apply straight to your body. Scrub vigorously and rinse. Doesn’t get easier than that.

 

You can substitute the raw sugar for a caster sugar, sand, himalayan sea salt or oats depending on how course or fine you would like your scrub and what area of the body you would like to use it on. You can also change and mix what kind of natural scented oils you can use too. Just make sure that the coconut oil your use is organic, virgin, cold pressed and unrefined. Also that your lavender oil is organic and 100% natural too. Otherwise you will not receive the full benefits and may be putting toxic chemicals on your skin.

Would love to know your feedback on this and how you get along using it!  I absolutely adore it and feel like it rates up against any of the expensive luxury products I have used in the past. Also what i love most about it is it gives me the scent and feeling of summer holidays!

 

Otis my intuition..

When I started this blog I wasn’t quiet sure what it was going to be about, would people want to hear about what i had to say and where it would lead. But it’s funny how when you just get in there and do something with no expectation what you get out of it.

I find this blog a kind of therapy. I am not an expert on much but i hope that what i share with you all inspires you and just opens you up to a new thought, expression, recipe, project or honesty that you take into your life and use in whatever positive way you choose!

My life has opened up since having Otis and it’s funny as I thought before having him my world was going to become smaller, harder more challenging. I guess we only tend to hear about the negative moments of raising a child but I actually feel like being a mother is making me flourish as a person, as a woman. My instincts are stronger, my heart is open and vulnerable, I am questioning the way in which i live my life in order to lead another down the right path. I am a creator, i have had life grow inside of me. The power in that alone i can not truly express.

We lead these lives in the first world where we are taught to fight our intuition, live in a way that is not responsive to that of the soul and deny ourselves to right to just stop and enjoy a moment. Being a mother defies all of that! Your instinct to LOVE, PROTECT and NURTURE so much stronger than that of your mind, your social status or upbringing. It is comforting for me to know, although life is a mystery, when you really tap into yourself there is a map or some sort of guidance. You just have to trust your intuition.

Writing this blog and taking this journey with you all has put into black and white what kind of person I am and strive to be amongst the world. My visions and passions. The blessing that has been bestowed on me by being a guide for Otis through his life.  Even in moments when i feel lost or unsure, he is a constant reminder to trust and things will fall into place. Trust and what is meant for me will be, to trust my intuition because Otis has every trust in me. With the greatest of love i share my stories of life with Otis with you xxx

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”  ~Elizabeth Stone

My seedlings…

Today my thumbs turned green. Yep i thought I would share and document the progress of my new children. My herb seedlings! I am wanting to start a veggie patch soon but to ease my self into it i thought i would start off with a herb garden. I have some ideas on where i want to put it and how i want to dress it up but first things first i thought i would plant my seedlings.

I have never grown anything from seeds before and my only gardening experience thus far is a few basil and tomato plants i grew last spring. Although they were from cuttings. It totally fascinated me though and felt so proud  once my cherry tomatoes where in my salad! You would have thought i was an expert the way i carried on! The beauty of it is again that once that seed is planted it just wants to grow. Life just wants to keep on living. If you are anything like me, nature truly fascinates me on a daily basis. Everywhere around us there is an order of the earth, things just happening the way they are supposed to in order for life to continue. BEAUTIFUL!

Back to my babies… so I have planted 7 types of herbs and may do some more but so far I have, basil, coriander, peppermint, dill, sage, thyme and parsley. i will keep you updated over the next month to see if they have spouted so fingers crossed.

All up my potting mix, seeds, and planting cups cost me under $15. I figure with herbs ranging in store from $3-$5 a bunch cut and only lasting a few days that is like 4-5 bunches worth for a life time supply of your own. You can pick them fresh and enjoy a intense, fresh flavour. It really doesn’t take much time to do and even for a novice like me, i reckon its worth giving it a go!

Let me know if you have a herb garden and i would love to know your ideas on styling them… potting them just any tips in general! So fingers crossed my babies grow!

“Gardening is how i relax. It’s another form of creating and playing with colours.” Oscar de la Renta

G

A loaf of fresh bread with homemade Strawberry jam

I am an absolute sucker for fresh bread! (Any bread infact!) Of late I have had the desire to bake my own. Mainly due to the fact I feel so much more confident knowing exactly what goes into it. Especially with Otis it really worries me the chemicals in foods that he digests, the effects it will have on his health in the present and future.

So the last 2 weeks have baked my own bread and man it’s absolutely worth it. If you haven’t noticed I LOVE to bake. I actually love to cook things from scratch as firstly I find it immensely satisfying tucking into a delicious fresh meal, snack or treat after you have put the love into preparing it and secondly I feel great knowing that I am not putting ‘STUFF’ that is harmful to my families and my own health.

I gotta say I have a really good side but i most certainly have a naughty side and let me tell you it’s my sweet tooth. I love to indulge in something sweet and again I actually don’t mind treating myself or Otis but I just like to know EXACTLY what is in it.  Like when you look at a jar of strawberry jam and there is a list of 10 ingredients in it, none of which resemble strawberry and not even knowing the quantities of the ‘STUFF’ that is in there. Hey and these are only the things that they are obliged to tell us on the label. God knows what they don’t.

So this is what inspires me to get in there and try and make as much from scratch as I can. I understand as i am a working mum that time is precious but i guess i just try and weigh up what I feel i can get that is just as healthy/good/cost effective from the store or what i can make myself.

here is this weeks attempt at my white seeded loaf and home made strawberry jam…. was YUMMO!

What was great to is that I had these strawberries that I had to use up before they went bad in a day or two so i didn’t have to throw them out! Looking forward to brekkie tomorrow.

  

Lane Cove Public School Food and Farmers market

I have spoken before about visiting your local farmers markets. So i thought I would share with you my weekly experience at my one. Every Sunday I will buy our beautiful fresh produce here, which is chemical free, sourced locally and absolutely delish!

The thing I like about The Lane Cove  Public school market ( open 9-1pm every sunday) is it is easy to park, has great pram access, is quite tiny but has everything you need. Sometimes Chris, Otis and I will duck up of a morning have a bacon and egg roll and a coffee or some scrumptious pastries. Otis will have a little run around and we have a little stroll around the Lane cove main strip, we can make a morning out of it. But if it is one of those jam packed sundays, where you need to be in and out i can be there and back in 45mins having collected all my bits hassle free.

It has a lovely vibe and all the store holders are happy to give you any information about the produce that you like. There is also some live music during the day and the kids can have a play on the jungle gyms.

So for me between the selections of meats, nuts and grains, oils, honey, eggs and fresh fruit and veg i find everything i could possibly need here and we are supporting small business in our local community. LOVE IT!

Let me know if you visit your local farmers market and how you would rate it!

here is the face book page of the Lane Cove Public School Market if you would like to know more about it, what they have available and how to get in contact.

https://www.facebook.com/LaneCovePublicSchoolFoodandFarmersMarkets

“To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” – Buddha